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he paper you submitted is a very well written formal analysis paper but unfortunately the topic has no relation to our history of photography class or your related research paper, which these writing activities are designed to help you write. Additionally, this was meant to be not a paper but rather a short assignment that helps you make incremental progress on your research paper and set a date by which you choose a work or work/s, in our case photograph/s, to be the main focus of your paper (the formal analysis example in Writing 2 is a generic one used in all my classes, but our focus in this class is photography). I have included the comments I entered in Blackboard previously for your Writing 1 assignment to choose a paper topic below. I recommend that you read through them and also reread the paper and writing activity guidelines with a plan to resubmit a short version of Writing 2 that considers your photo topic and can later be included in your paper. Why don’t you consider using the photos of trees or other of the works that interested you when you did Writing 1? Also, it would be fine with me if you hang onto your Mona Lisa formal analysis for use in the Art History II-Art Since the Renaissance class if you have not already taken it. I am teaching that class in spring.

Writing 1 comments:
This is a great start – and way more than this assignment required. I think you have some great material here and strong writing with a good start to the research. However, this reads more like a report on the long history of photography — a very broad topic for our short paper that does not clearly show a thesis. I recommend that you review the paper and activity guidelines and help resources. Then you can determine which works interest you the most and hone in on them for your formal analysis and as you conduct your research to develop your thesis, which will be due in Writing 4 and as the intro to your final paper.

*Short version*

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